New Page 1

Chapter 5

The

Mad Talk Show

He had not gone much further before he came in sight of what must be without question 'The Mad Talk Show.'

There was a table set out under a tree and a man with a large hat marked "Press" was sitting in one chair behind it. This must be the Mad Chatter. Beside him was old Mr. Loremouse who seemed to be snoozing. And sitting in a chair next to Mr. Loremouse was another man who looked very much like Mr. Loremouse--in fact, as Alix later found out, it was Mr. Loremouse's very own twin brother; this must be, by elimination, Dr. 'Split Hare' (whose real name was Dr. Sam Loremouse, but who rather liked to be called by this colorful twaining moniker.)

The table was full of cups, saucers, dishes, foodstuffs, cigarettes and ashtrays with more places set than what was needed for the three attendees. Later, Alix found out that many people were invited to hear these three famous speakers, but for some strange reason, few seemed to have found time to attend.

Microphones, hanging from wires coming down from the tree, hovered over all three of them. The wires all ran to a van, but the wires didn't really seemed to be connected to anything in the van. On top of the van was a rusty satellite dish transmitting their talk, I suppose, throughout the land. The three members of the press were speaking among themselves but Alix wasn't sure if the show was being broadcast or not.

However there seemed to be an audience, for in front of the van were three technicians who seemed to be listening intently to the stirring and captivating conversation under their large sombreros.

"No room! No room!" they cried out when they saw Alix coming.

"There's plenty of room!" said Alix indignantly and he sat down in a large armchair at one end of the table.

"Have some beer?" Dr. Split Hare said in an encouraging tone.

"Alix looked on the table, but there was nothing on it but coffee. "I don't see any beer," he remarked.

"There isn't any, "said Dr. Split Hare.

"That's rude."

"Well, it was rude of you to sit down without being invited; do you have low esteem?"

"No, and are you sure there's no Lowesteem at this table"

"You are certainly right!" exclaimed the Mad Chatter, "None of us here has much low esteem. To think that you would suggest that any of us has, is a great insult."

"Well, I see that your hat is big enough to fit any size inflated head," replied Alix.

"Thank you very much for the compliment."

"It wasn't meant to be given as a compliment."

"Well, it has been received as one. Well, enough with these unpleasant formalities; now on with the heart of the show. Well, Alix--yes, I know your name: Mr. Loremouse has been making up stories about you--well, Dr Split Hare has a question for you."

"What does it mean when the Constitution says "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion?" said Dr Split Hare in a decidedly measured and even voice.

"Come, we shall have fun now!" thought Alix. "I am glad they've begun asking constitutional riddles--I believe I can guess that," he added out loud.

"Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?" said Dr. Split Hare.

"Exactly so," said Alix.

"Then you should say what you mean," Dr. Split Hare went on.

"I do," Alix hastily replied. "At least--at least I mean what I say--that's the same thing, you know."

"Not the same thing a bit!" said Dr. Split Hare. "Why, you might as well say that 'I see what I eat' is the same thing as 'I eat what I see'!"

"You might just as well say," added the Mad Chatter, 'that I pray for what I want' is the same as 'I want what I pray for'!"

"Well I shouldn't pray for what I wouldn't want," interjected Alix.

"Well, maybe," replied the Chatter, "but how about this one, 'I kneel every time I pray' is the same as 'I pray every time I kneel.'"

"That depends on how religious you are."

"You don't seem to get the idea, my dear Alix," exclaimed Dr. Split Hare."

"And what idea is that?" responded Alix, happy they were about to get down to some fun and serious business at last.

And this started an interesting debate between Alix and Dr. Split Hare on knowing the meaning of the Constitution. It seemed that Dr. Split Hare believed that the Constitution was so vague and general that you must broadly interpret its words depending on things like the Constitution's original intent, the context of the moment and even the 'Zeitgeist' of the present times. (The Dr. was always using these big words, but Zeitgeist simply meant the spirit of the times or the trends of thought and feeling in a period, like today's so called political correctness.)

Alix, on the other hand, while conceding to a point that intent and context were important, was on the whole of the belief that one should hold closely to the exacts words of the Constitution whenever possible; if not, then the sky is the limit as to interpretation and the Constitution will then die a slow death.

Dr. Split Hare continued, "The idea is that meanings and sayings are not always the same: sometimes they could be, but sometimes one's meaning is not entirely set down in one's sayings or conversely what you have said doesn't cover all your meanings."

"Well, most of the time, most of the people say mostly what they mean and most of the people are able to mostly interpret what was said into the proper intended meaning of the original sayer," exclaimed Alix.

"Most of the time." said Dr. Split Hare. "Possibly, but sayings are misinterpreted more than one knows."

"That's why important things should be said carefully and exactly," replied Alix.

"That's right, but sometimes they aren't. Take the Constitution, for instance."

"I think the Constitution will more likely take you," said Alix laughing to himself, thinking of the sharp claws and teeth of the Constitution.

"I am not sure what you mean?"

"I mean what I say," chuckled Alix.

"Enough of this distraction. Now take the first Amendment to the Constitution, or the first section in the Bill of Rights. It says that 'Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.' What does this mean?"

Alix replied, "It means that the government shall not establish any new religion: that there shouldn't be any state sponsored religion or religions."

"Possibly? That is the usual interpretation and the best one, but it can be interpreted differently. It can mean that the government should make no laws that 'do homage' -- in others words 'respect' -- any already established religion, like the Roman Catholic Church, for instance. In others Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion. It all revolves around the ambiguity of the words respect and establishment."

"That is silly; we know what those words meant to people who wrote the Constitution."

"Then their intent was centrally important?"

"Not really, we simply have to know what certain words meant back then to most of the people most of the time. However, this does not mean reading their minds."

"But to interpret it properly we have to read their minds, for we know that in their minds they wanted a wall between State and religion and so this helps us make the best interpretations: so my conclusion from all this is that intent is very important in interpreting the constitution," added Dr. Hare.

"You are right and I believe we should place ourselves in their shoes to a certain extent. However, you can only apply the original intent of the framer if you have overwhelming and unequivocal documents actual stating their intent. Most constitutional experts have played down the idea of intent: we should stick to the actual words of the Constitution as much as we can."

"Enough on this; now, let's dwell on the problem engendered when this establishment clause is placed side by side with the other major clause on religion in the first amendment making the full text read as follows: 'Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.'

"Now let's take a case where the application of these two clauses conflict: the taxation status of churches.

On the one hand, taxing a church violates the second freedom clause. But on the other hand if a Church has tax exemptions then it is being sponsored by the government and therefore this violates the establishment clause. How do we balance the two clauses; this is not an easy question to answer."

"Oh yes it is!" And here Alix finally came out of his temporary timidity and went into one of his famous tirades; perhaps his bravado was coming back. "The government shouldn't be taxing the heck out of everyone anyway and getting its grubby hands into our pockets and our churches. The framers always wanted to protect the Church and the people--and in this rare case intent is important and useful due to its overwhelming promotion then and now--and created both clauses to protect the Church and the people's religious beliefs: that is, it wanted no state sponsored church to which people were forced to go and no prohibitions on a Church's freedoms. Very simple. It was only when people with a secular mindset came in and started to tax the daylights out everything and everyone and saw the churches as simply one more institution to possibly tax, did tax exemption seem like government sponsorship of religion, when it only meant that it was exempting the Church from a burden that the government never had a right to lay on it in the first place. Did anyone, back then, have trouble with these simple concepts, concepts that any one with just a simple understanding of the overwhelming western Judeo-Christian mindset, that was prevalent at the time, would have known. To most it says what it means and means what is says, except perhaps for some strange aliens from space and certain liberals."

"I see interpreting the constitution is easy for you."

"No, there must be some thought to it in places, but most good Americans can see when the words of the Constitution are being twisted around for the evil purposes of evil people."

"I am glad you are the arbitrar of the Constitution."

"No, the Constitution does well to interpret itself; the American people just are uncomfortable with people trying to abuse it."

"Well, enough of this for now. On to other more congenial subjects."

And here the conversation dropped and the group sat silent for the moment, while Alix thought over all he could remember about congenial subjects, which wasn't much."

The Mad Chatter was the first to break the silence. "What sign of the Zodiac are we in?" he said, turning to Alix. He had taken his watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and then, and holding it up to his ear."

"Mr. Loremouse said with his eyes closed, still ostensibly asleep, " I proceed. We are in Capricorn...

'...the tenth sign of the zodiac, symbolized by a mountain goat. Astrologers believe that people whose birthdays fall between December 22 and January 19 are born under the sun sign of Capricorn. The planet Saturn rules Capricorn, which is an earth sign' ...zzz." ¹

(Note: that while it is Thanksgiving in the real world, here in One-World-Land it is nearing Christmas. -- The Editor.)

"Ah, two zodiac signs wrong!" sighed the Mad Chatter. "I told you regular watch oil wouldn't suit the works!" he added, looking angrily at Dr. Split Hare.

"It was the best watch oil on the planet," Dr. Split Hare meekly replied.

"That's the problem."

"What's the problem?"

"That you got it on this planet."

"But what other planet could I have got it on?"

"I don't know, but this watch is out of this world."

"I don't care how expensive..."

"I don't mean expensive, I mean literally out of this world."

"What ever do you mean?"

"Well, this radio listener of mine who said he was at Roswell picked it up in a pile of junk metal..."

"You don't mean," interjected Alix, "that you believe this watch is from..."

"Yes, I do so believe that and I believe it without a shadow of any doubt whatsoever," said the Mad Chatter who glanced at Dr. Split Hare with a slight indignant look for as Alix, later found out, these two had many scuffles in the past, for Dr. Split Hare seemed to believe in nothing under the sun and the Mad Chatter seemed to believe in everything under it.

"Why look!" continued the Mad Chatter, "There are all kinds of time and date modes on this watch."

And Alix looked over his shoulders with some curiosity. "What a funny watch!" he remarked. "It tells the zodiac signs, both Greek and Chinese..."

"Yes, it does. And listen to this. Do you know that the year 2001 in the Chinese zodiac is the year of the Snake..."

"Yes, we know," said Dr. Hare with bored upturned eyes.

"But that was the year of 911, the year those evil terrorists, no doubt influenced by the snake, the Devil, did their evil deed. And notice this Alix, you would be interested in this, the year 2007, just next year, will be the year of the Pig. Ya, Pig, Alix. Certainly that is the year when the police state will be completely put into place..."

"Well..." interjected Alix, "...according to news clips and educated calculations and projections into the near feature, I believe that about 2007, give or take a few years, will be the time when the police state will be fully instituted, if the worlders have their way, but I..."

"But hear this: 2003, the year of the Sheep is when US soldiers were led down the lane of slaughter in the Iraq war and 2000 was the year of the Dragon, the year Bush, no doubt the representative of the Devil on Earth, the Dragon, won election as president and the year 2012, the year of the Dragon again, will be another year of great import, for that is the end of the Mayan calendar. It is all here on my astronomical watch which I got from aliens..."

Now, Dr. Split Hare chimed in, "Well, if this watch is from another planet, why are all the references and calendars from our point of view, from our place in the universe, from our time in the universe and all using words in our English language..."

"Ya, good point," Alix added.

The Chatter replied, "But watches for the English US are made in the Chinese Hong Kong and so just as the Chinese research our culture, the aliens researched ours and then created..."

"But all the materials are from earth and look here on the back in very small letter, "Made in Taiwan."

"Yes, I saw that. Perhaps the aliens are trying to cover their tracks or perhaps...ya...one of their planets is called 'Taiwan' and...ya....oh what a revelation...all countries of our world are named after a planet from their universe..."

"Oh, ya, like they have a planet called "The United States of America," "Or the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics."

"Well, maybe the aliens gave the name of their planets to the Native Americans...Ya...well, aliens visited the indigenous races of all peoples long ago."

"But we are getting off topic," said Alix knowing that they were never really on any topic, but he wanted to steer things to interest to him, "How is all this relevant to my fight against the One Worlders?"

"Well, I wholeheartedly believe without a shadow of any doubt whatever that Bush and all the other leaders are under control of all kinds of aliens of every stripe and color: grays and reptilian, let's say even Klingon--for Gene was closer to the truth than any one really knew; these aliens don't see this planet as a collection of nations but as one world: these plethora of aliens are the puppet masters that are pulling the strings of all the government around the world. THIS is the ONLY explanation for things and for the unity of their plan."

"Well, I will not discuss the issue of aliens for now" interjected Alix, "but the Unity of the One Worlders can be explained in other ways: first they are not so united as they seem and they are not as powerful as some might let out to believe; second, whatever unity is actually out there is galvanized and evoked by the rich and powerful linking together to make sure their riches and powers are enlarged and MAINTAINED--which is a bigger reason than most people think; and third, there are some--mainly Christian-- who would say that the devil is behind all this: I could believe that, but for you non-Christians, I would merely say that, surely, if you read history, you would have seen that many times whole sections of the earth had fallen under a strange dark cloud of mass hypnosis, hysteria and evil that is hard to explain."

The Mad Chatter replied, "Yes, I agree, our planet is constantly being inundated by aliens, devils, demons, spirits, mass hypnosis, neutral economic and political forces, strange creatures, fairies, angels, hobbits, orcs and trolls, leprechauns, Ferengi, ignorance, communists, socialists, capitalists, atheists, religionists, and all kinds of evil. I know all this for a fact, for I have contacted this alien realm through every spiritual medium--every single one of which I believe communicates the whole truth, at all times--and through my Ouija board which is a failsafe communication device with all these realms, close or near, material or spiritual. Oh, Doomsday is surely coming any day now! O woe is us."

Alix rebutted, "You don't have to believe ALL that! Just know that evil does rear up its ugly head from time to time -- more times than is readily accepted -- in the form of the likes of Hitler and Stalin and Mao and Napoleon and Caesar and a host of others down through the ages. That is history. Maybe Mr. Loremouse can enlighten us on this uncongenial subject..."

"Yes, Mr. Loremouse shall!" the Chatter and Hare both exclaimed. "Wake up, Mr. Loremouse!" And they pinched him on both sides at once.

Mr. Loremouse slowly opened his eyes. "I wasn't asleep," he said in a hoarse, feeble voice, "I heard every word you fellows were saying."

"Tell us some history about the Constitution," said Dr. Split Hare.

"Yes, please do!" pleaded Alix.

"And be quick about it," added the Chatter, "or you'll be asleep again before it's done."

"Hey," remarked Alix, "I think it is starting to rain."

"And it is a funny look rain," said The Split Hare, "It looks rather gooey."

The Chatter said very excitedly, "For this must simply be Doomsday approaching. Oh my!" and with this the Chatter pulled his hat over his head.

"No," corrected Alix, "this is simply some of the green gloop that the cooks of Uncle Sam cooked up a little while back. However, it doesn't seem as salutary for one's health as it is heralded as being. Oh my, it seems to getting thicker by the minute. Shall we move inside?"

"No way," said the Chatter, "And then where will we conduct our Talk Show? I, for one, don't want to go to all that trouble to simply stay a little dry."

"O, very well," said Alix.

"So, Mr., Loremouse," said the Chatter, "are you going to begin, or what?"

"Or what what," said Dr. Hare.

"Or what what what," replied the Chatter.

"Or what what what what," replied Dr. Hare.

"Oh, just commence, Mr. Loremouse," said Alix, steadily getting angry.

"Well, where shall I begin?" said a droopy, and gloopy eyed Loremouse.

"Why, at the beginning, where else," said the Chatter.

"Well, in the beginning God created the heavens and the earth..."

"Not that far back," cried the Chatter, we don't have all day and night.

Alix replied, almost to himself "Well, if God didn't created day and night we wouldn't have any day and night at all to have not all of it to waste."

As if not hearing Alix at all, Mr. Loremouse answered the Chatter's objection, "Well, we must start there, for the Constitution is based on the Natural Law which God instilled in us in the very beginning and which the intelligent, educated and virtuous framers took great pains to discern in the area of politics and justice..."

"We don't have time for that," said the Chatter looking at his watch," 2012 is coming pretty soon. Can you fast forward a little bit?"

"How much forward?"

"However much you want."

"Let me see, OK, I proceed.

'Beginning in the late-1800s the Supreme Court overturned scores of federal and state economic regulations... ' " ²

"Oh no," said the Chatter, "he's going on about economics of all things. How boring...let's dump him into the coffee pot."

So Dr. Hare and the Chatter dumped him into a large nearby coffee cauldron which luckily--or unluckily--at the moment seemed to contain more gloop than coffee.

As Alix, the Chatter and Dr. Hare, bored to sleepiness, snoozed, Mr. Loremouse just kept on speaking while in the cauldron, his voice a distinct but muffled echo. "

'...the Court concluded that the laws either went beyond the scope of Congress’s power to regulate commerce or, relying on a doctrine known as economic due process...'"³

"Wait! Did he say something about due process," Alix cried suddenly coming out of his stupor, "Come and take him out of there."

"Well, you're not much fun, Master Alix, but if that's what you want, then we will so gladly comply."

And they removed Mr. Loremouse from the cauldron, who just continued speaking, but who now had coffee and gloop dripping from his whiskers..."

"Stop, Mr. Loremouse. Did you say something about due process?"

Dr. Split Hare said, "He should be thinking more about the drying process, hey what?"

Mr. Loremouse, not hearing Dr. Hare because of the gloop being lodged in his rather large ears, continued talking with Alix who sat nearer to him, "Oh, I was talking about economic due process..."

"Is it similar to judicial due process?"

"I guess in the way, but it is applied to the economic sphere where the constitution limits..."

"O good. I want to hear this. It might have some applicability to today's situation."

"Perhaps, but I am not an expert in the field of applicability. Now can I go on?

"Well, why can't you apply your knowledge? You have a brain. Anybody can apply knowledge."

"That's not true. You must have a advanced degree in applied constitutional law to do..."

"No, you don't" Alix was beginning to get very angry, but the Chatter and Dr. Split Hare went "Sh! sh!" and Mr. Loremouse sulkily remarked, "If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the story yourself."

"No, please go on!" Alix said very humbly, "I won't interrupt again. However, I dare say there may be one."

"One, indeed!" said the Loremouse indignantly. However, he consented to go on,

" '...relying on a doctrine known as economic due process, it determined that certain laws interfered with a person’s “liberty to contract.” ' " ⁴

"Liberty!" Alix interjected, "ah, things are getting interesting..."

"Yes, Liberty. You seemed obsessed with that word."

"As everyone should."

"Perhaps, but, Master Alix, do I now have the liberty to go on?"

"Go on, please."

"Well, I shall. I proceed,

'For example, in Lochner versus New York (1905) the Court held that states could not regulate the working hours of bakers because the state’s interest in the health and safety of the bakers did not outweigh the bakers’ right to enter into contracts with their

employers.' "⁵

"There, the Constitution fought for the rights of the small business man and the free market against the patronizing state," Alix commented.

"But," objected Dr. Hare, "it did not stick up for the rights of the common worker."

"Yes, I see the problem, "said Alix, "but these kinds of problems could be hacked out at the local level, possibly with the use of free unions and not at the federal level: we can't gain certain benefits while losing certain fundamental liberties."

Mr. Loremouse didn't bat an eye but continued on,

" 'Until 1937 the Court continued to strike down federal laws regulating industrial and agricultural conditions.' " ⁶

"Good for the Constitution."Alix lashed out, "it still had sharp claws to limit the power of the overarching fangs of the federal government."

"But," objected Dr. Hare, "perhaps, some workers in industry and on farms needed to be justifiably protected through certain regulations."

"Perhaps," answered Alix, "this was needed, but more often than not it should have been, and should be done today, at the local level, or at worst at the state government level."

"OK, granted, Alix, but was the Supreme Court justified in striking down federal laws: that is, did the Constitution mandate these actions and if not, was the Supreme Court overstepping its bounds and becoming even more powerful."

"That would have to be decided on an individual basis, but I see your point: if decisions were based on the Constitution then they were good, if not then they were not good and the Court overstepped its bounds. Yes, this overstepping of bounds started at the beginning of this century and did indeed increase in frequency as this wearisome century wore on."

"Proceed, Mr. Loremouse," said Dr. Hare

" 'That year the Court reversed course and upheld the National Labor Relations Act, a key piece of New Deal legislation initiated by President Franklin D. Roosevelt to alleviate the economic crisis of the Great Depression......For nearly 60 years the Court upheld all congressional enactments made under the commerce power...' " ⁷

"Well, that's when the Crook-ed finally took full power over the Courts, " bellowed Alix, "and walled in the power of the Constitution, although this process started out with the 'willy-nilly make-up your own laws' mentally of the compass-less Oliver Wendell Holmes who set the stage for the gradual encroachment of the Supreme Court over the Constitution, the State and the entire country. Yes, it was at this time that the Court really started to grow in power and started to overstep its bounds. Even if you differ as to whether the Court should side with this legislation or that, you can see in the the history of Supreme Court decisions thoughout this century that at one time they took this position and at a later time they took an entirely opposite position; now if they were really following the Constitution and not their own whims then their decisions would have been more consistent. So, in fact, the Supreme Court became supreme over the Constitution, and in fact did help to increase the power of the Federal Goverment over us and in the end fetter our freedom. Oh, this is certainly the result of that awful gloop that causes Uncle Sam so many problems nowadays and clogs up his Constitution. Oh, when will the Constitution be free again to properly lash out at all who try to fetter Liberty. If the Constitution can't be free to roam about the paths in this land, then who can be? Come on, we must do something to re-invigorate this ailing and disappearing Treasure Cat!"

But as he said that, he noticed that Mr. Loremouse was nodding off to sleep again and that the Mad Chatter and Dr. Split Hare were dipping his tail into a bottle of ink.

This piece of complacency was more than Alix could take; so he got up in great disgust and walked off. Mr. Loremouse fell asleep completely, and neither of the others took the least notice of his going; the last time he saw them they were all talking at once into their microphones and in the whirlwind of their own misguided passions, they sawed the air too much with their hands and they accidentally pushed Mr. Loremouse into a garbage can; this started a battle between all three that was a tempest full of teapots.

Alix thought. "Their enthusiasm, and some of their thinking, is correct, but they must first edit it and then direct it to more relevant things. At any rate, I'll never go there again! It's the most verbose and vapid talk show I ever was at in all my life."

Just as he thought that, he came to the technicians in the broadcasting van; they were all relaxing: all were drinking wine; some more than others, and two of them, the assistants Alix later found out, were also smoking a strange kind of cigarette and laughing a whole lot. He was wondering why they were laughing so much: there was nothing funny going on, except perhaps the antics of the Mad Talk Show reporters.

Then one of the funny-cigarette smokers answered him, for Alix had blurted his thoughts out loud, which happens to Alix, it seems, quite a lot. "Ho, ho, we are laughing because we got those fools real good, hey Cheecho."

"Ya, Chongo, " Cheecho answered, "We get paid while they think that we actually broadcast their stupid nonsense to the public at large, ha ah." And Cheecho and Chongo rolled about in dire laughter.

"So this van doesn't broadcast their talk show?" asked Alix, who was beginning to see the light.

"No, senor," said the head technician and the boss of the outfit who was a nice guy and seemed to have his head together for he had imbibed only a little of the wine and none of those funny cigarettes.

"And none of these wires are connected to anything."

"Yes."

"Does any of the stuff actually work?"

"Ya! The microwave and the fridge. Ha, ha," laughed Cheecho, "Must keep our food and drink at the proper temperature. Much of the rest is junk we picked up here and there. Those three are too stupid to realize nothing is really being broadcast from here."

"Quiet, Cheecho, Chongo" said the boss. I will talk to this nice Gringo here. Now, you two, go and clean up this mess."

At that Chongo started to clean up the mess, albeit a little slowly and full of grumbles, but Cheecho didn't even do that and just went back to sleep under his large sombrero. The boss, who greeted Alix and introduced himself as Pedro, turned to him and said, "It is true, Alix, we really do not broadcast their show at all."

"And do you get paid for this, Pedro?"

"Well, yes and no. We get no money, but we get to eat and drink our fill and we are allowed to camp here."

"Have you signed a contract for this deal?"

"Yes, we have," Pedro said with downcast eyes.

"But that's not moral; you shouldn't take gratuities while not providing a service, a service you were contracted to do."

"Yes, you are right, Alix. We should have honored our written contract."

"But you still didn't honor it. Why?"

"Well, I was getting lax lately and tired and I was letting my assistants get the better of me. They convinced me, especially Cheecho, that we were providing a service to them by not providing a service, if you know what you mean."

"No, what do you mean?"

"Well, we were providing a service to the community by keeping those fools from spreading their nonsense. If we didn't do this then a reputable company would truly broadcast their stuff. Do you want that? Anyway, nobody would tune in even if we would really broadcast the show. In addition, Cheecho said we were providing the service of comforting the minds of the three reporters by providing the semblance of a real broadcast. Anyway, all the food they provided was simply the extra food for the invited audience that never showed up: it wasn't an extra expense for them."

"Ha, ha. I see what you mean. But you see that Cheecho was wrong. The end didn't justify the means."

"Yes, I see now and I should have seen then. I am sorry I did it?"

"Good."

"Yes, if I don't believe they should be broadcast, I shouldn't have taken their payments."

"I couldn't agree more. Written contracts should be kept."

"But do you think that they should be broadcast to the community at large?"

"Well, all in all, I would say no."

"Just what I thought. We must pack up, pay these men for their food and leave."

"But on the other hand," interjected Alix, "some of their info and thinking is good. If only they would edit it properly, filter out the nonsense and point out its relevance."

"Well, why don't you do it?"

"Yes, that's a good idea."

"Well, if you need technicians we're your men."

"With all this crappy stuff?"

"Well, we really have some good equipment too and we were once good broadcasters, but for ever such a long time, we've had nothing good to broadcast. It does something to a man when he has no worthwhile work in his life." Then he turned to his men, "Hey, Cheecho, get up there man and help Chongo put that stuff away. Can't you see we are dealing with a real reporter, here?"

"Me, a real reporter."

"Ya, we saw you talking to those fools and we saw that certain gleam in your eyes that we haven't seen in a long time."

"Well, perhaps..."

"Yes, you are the brave bull...ya, that's it...you will be called from now on in our land El Toro Bravo, The Brave Bull, for you will knock down the bad guys with your hard head and your bull horns, ha, ha," and all his men laughed and Alix joined in.

"El Toro Bravo. I like that. I will bring down the mighty with my bullhorns. Ha, that is funnier than you think, but good."

"Yes, you will be the one to get rid of all that foul gloop that is inundating this land. Here, look inside our van," said the leader and with that they opened the van doors to reveal a large tele-tube-vacu-visioner and on its screen a tele-tube-movie was already playing: it showed a bright and pristine world free of all that binding and blinding gloop, "yes, El Toro Bravo, this will be your job and you will certainly be victorious in it!"

"Thanks, but I am not..."

"Here's our card." And he wrote something on it before handing it over to Alix. "Contact us when you're ready to broadcast again. We can do a good job and can beam whatever you want and real loud too, with a lot of decibels."

"Oh, I like that. Well, I need to do a few more things first. I have this invitation to the White somebody or other. When I'm ready I'll contact you. See you for now, my good friend...my amigo...and all of you...ah yes...my three amigos."

And with this Alix trotted off and as he looked back he saw that the boss was indeed trying to get his team's act together.

BACK

Footnotes:

3. Ibid.

4. Ibid.

5. Ibid.

6. Ibid.

7. Ibid.