A DIVINE SHAKESPEAREAN COMEDY

THE

SHAKESPEARES

A DIVINE

SHAKESPEAREAN

COMEDY

(A CYCLE OF FIVE PLAYS)

PLAY

THE FIRST

MACBARD

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Length: 30 Pages. 30 Illustrations.

Time to Read: 30 minutes.

Reading Level: For all ages, though it can be best understood by readers 10 and up, with that reader being somewhat scholarly and with dictionary in hand.

Synopsis: As young ten year old Bard picks up a cartload of donuts for a wedding on the weekend, the three Bawdy Bakers give Bard a prophecy stating he can eat all the donuts he wants and harm to him for stealing donunts can only come if walking pastries come to his house. Knowing that this can not come true, Bard steals and eats many donuts the following night. Does Bard suffer for his crime and do the prophecies comes true?

(The play seems to foreshadow Bard's later MacBeth, with many of its famous lines now comically referring to gluttony by a boy instead of murder by an adult.)

PLAY

THE SECOND

A CHRISTMAS

TALE

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Length: 35 pages. 32 Illustrations.

Time to read: 30 minutes.

Reading Level: For readers 13 and up. However, the language might be a little difficult for more younger readers.

Synopsis: In the first part of this play, Bard puts on a Christmas play about two widows and their children getting together for a Christmas meal, but Bard's real scheme is to get the actors to fall in love, for the actors are two real widows: Lady Beatrice, Lordly but somewhat poor, and, Sir Benedick, also Lordly, but also poor and now Lady Beatrice's steward. Also in the play is Beatrice's son Darling and Benedick's daughter Mirth. However, all goes awry when Bard breaks down and confesses that he stole the play from his teacher, Mr. Laurence, and sent him on a wild goose chase in the cold country in order to hide his crime. The tale turns to tragedy when a sudden snowstorm sweeps in and freezes Mr. Laurence to apparent death. Does the warm love of his saintly wife, Lucia, together with the apparent appearance of a strange young boy, unfreeze Mr. Laurence's heart? Read and find out.

(This play somewhat foreshadows the Bards "A Winter's Tale" where an apparent statue comes to life and turns out to be the Protaganist's wife who he thought was long dead. Who is the real savior of dead life in "A Christmas Tale." Clue: It is all in the title! )

PLAY

THE THIRD

MUCH ADO

ABOUT HAIRDOS

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Length: 35 pages. 30 Illustrations.

Time to Read: 30 Minutes.

Reading Level: For readers 13 and up. However, the language might be a little difficult for younger readers.

Synopsis: Beatrice and Benedick are visited by their friends, a young couple much in love, the handsome Romeo and the beauteous Juliet. Juliet, a nice girl, does Beatrice a favour and makes her look very beatueous after giving her a makeover. Things go awry when Beatrice thinks that Juliet is after her own dear Benedick and to stop this dalliance makes Juliet look very ugly with a very drastic un-makeover. To make things even more confusing, Benedick has asked the generally besotted (i.e

drunk) Romeo to be his man in asking Beatrice for her hand. All in all this ends up with Romeo mistakenly engaged to Beatrice and Benedick sympatheticly engaged to the now forlorn Juliet.

This is a disaster for Darling and Mirth and they ask the great Bard to fix things. He tells them that he will put on a play that will fix the mess. The play consists in acting out sonnets that show that Beatrice will soon get old and lose her looks. Does this frighten off Romeo so that he once agains pines for his true love Juliet? Bard's play seems to work to a point, but it has unintended consequences: first, Romeo does indeed run away from Beatrice, but he seems to be put off by marriage altegether and seems bent only on chasing young women and 2) Beatrice is hurt that nobody can love poor old plain her. Does Benedick save that day by trying to tell Beatrice--through some more extemporaneously acted sonnets-- that "love is not love which alters when alteration finds."

(The sonnets in the plays above bear a striking similarity to the Bard's later sonnets that deal with Time's slowly sneaking movement to death and to others that deal with the true love of similar minds.)

PLAY

THE FOURTH

A TRAGEDY

OF ERRORS

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Length: 30 pages. No Illustrations.

Time to Read: One hour.

Reading Level: Minimum age is a mature 13-15, but mainly written for adults. Parental guidance suggested.

Caution: Deals with adult themes of promiscuous love and murder.

Synopsis: In order to get Romeo back on the straight and narrow and pining again for Juliet, Bard first rehearses a Passion Play in front of Romeo making him feel guilty about 'killing' his True Love. This makes Romeo a little guilty but more seems to be needed; however, Romeo rushes away before Bard can exact his cure. Eventually Romeo accidentally lands in a household where several strange coincidences take place: 1) all the household act as if he is the rich master of the house, Rownaldo, whose portraits on the walls are a spitting image of Romeo and 2) that he is in fact husband of one Julieta who looks exactly like Juliet. The steward of this household--a sneaky and greedy man name Judago-- urges Romeo to play Rownaldo in order for Romeo to take all the riches of the household including the beauteous Julieta. The somewhat greedy and lustful Romeo agrees to this for he finds out that Rownaldo may be dead in some far off war; in addition, Romeo knows he can be rich, have Julieta, and any number of mistresses. But things go awry when Rownaldo returns and Judago--apparently under Romeo's vague instructions--kills Rownaldo. However, Romeo is saved from persecution of the law when Judago's brother Joshua--dressed as Jesus after coming from a Bardian play--gets blamed for the murder when his pure white cloak get bloody after he checks if Rownaldo is really dead. In another set of amazing coincidences all the people at Joshua's trial are dressed in Biblical costumes and their real current roles match their play-acting roles: for instance, the chief magistrate is dressed as Caiaphas. Joshua is found guilty and executed and Bard, dressed as Marc Anthony, says the famous "Friends, Romans, countryman" speech over Joshua's body, this time replacing the name Julius with Joshua (or Jesus) All this seems like the last hours of Jesus. Many questions seem to be posed here: first, what is the cause of all these amazing coincidences and what part does Bard's acting troupe have in all this; second, is this the final end for 'Jesus' or does he rise back to life like his namesake; and third, does all this make Romeo finally repent and become one again with His True Love?

PLAY THE FIFTH

A SUMMER'S

END

NIGHT'S DREAM

Enter Here

Length: 60 pages. No Illustrations.

Time to read: Two hours.

Reading Level: Minimum age is a mature 13-15, but mainly written for adults. Parental guidance suggested.

Caution: Deals with adult themes.

Synopsis:

PROLOGUE: Much like Hamlet, an old retired Bard is visited by the ghost of his father. The ghost tells him that the whole kingdom has been deadend by the vial poison of Geneva poured down the country's throat by Queen Eliz and Lord Cecil. In addition, he confesses that he was complicit in this murder when he turned he eyes away when the citizenry of Stratford whitewashed three holy paintings in the local church: one of the murder of Bishop Becket, a second of the dream of the Holy Cross by Saint Helena and a third one of the Last Judgement. In addition, the ghost said that he was swept away at death without the last sacraments and must now suffer many more years in fiery Purgatory. The ghost admonishes Bard to take urgent action for the country and for himself.

SCENE ONE: As young Bard tells his friend Millhouse about the dream he just had where he was old and visited by his father as a ghost, the young boys overhear that the Local Duke Lord Ceceus, plans to imprison his wife, the saintly Lady Katherine Ceceus, in four days time and then pretend she is dead so he can then marry his mistress Slutlyta. But they also overhear Sir Crusteus--the clown of Lord Ceceus--make plans, behind Ceceus back, to really kill the Lady in four days. Bard tells Millhouse he has a plan and states that "The plays the rebuke wherein I'll catch the conscience of our Duke." In addition, Bard overhears that Lord Ceceus is forcing Romeo to marry Beatrice, for is seems it is very politic for cool 'Protestant' to marry hot Catholic in order to produce lukewarm gentry. Bard plans to fix this mess also and this adds another dimension to Bard's new play. SCENE TWO/THREE. Bard's father, Glover, is seemingly on his death bed, in constant pangs of guilt over his part in the recent whitewashing of the above mentioned paintnings. Bard consoles his father by telling him of his plans to get the 'protestant' Lord Ceceus. This regulates Glover for a while, but Bard knows that a more fuller cure is needed and and therefore adds another dimension to his now quite involved play. SCENE FOUR: On a cold summer's night, Bard meets up with Lady Ceceus in a room in The Grange, a large rambling castle-mansion, and gets her permission to put Ceceus through the ringer in the many subteranenean passages and rooms in the bowels of the Grange. The Lady knows that the Lord is really good down deep and just needs a little shake-up to bring him to true repentance. SCENE FIVE. Later that night in the bowels of the Grange, Bard leads Ceceus through many dark and dank corridors to meet up with many statues that now seem to come to life: 1) Glover, as a monk, speaks of the good done by Becket, 2) Lucia, as Becket's mother, speaks of the whole kingdom going awry after Becket was exiled to France, just as the country was experiencing now; 3) The troupe, as Richard the III and the knights who killed him, enact this horrendous murder, a murder that seems to presage, in his own eyes, Ceceus's murder by his won minions and 4) Becket (played by Joshua) tells Ceceus that we must all profess our true love for the Lord and that we may have to suffer martyrdom as a price for this. All this makes Ceceus wonder at the temperature of his own faith and whether it is hot enough. ACT SIX: The next day, Glover tells Bard and his troupe that he had encountered the real Becket last night and that Becket gave him his confession and absolved him of all his sins; Glover is a changed man and glows with Joy. Many don't believe Glover's story, but Mary, his wife, seems to believe that something happened for she had never seen such a change in her husband. In addition, Doc states that he got lost in the caverns below and wasn't able to play the statue of Becket; this makes them wander who really played this lordly man. Meanwhile Crusteus and Ceceus behind an arras overhear this conversation and while Ceceus believes he could have been visited by the ghost of Becket, Crusteus believes that this is all the fancy of a overheated minds, just like in the case of poets, lovers and lunatics (much in the way of Bards own words from "A Midsummer's Night Dream.") Crusteus, who has stolen a copy of Bard's 'Play', now tells Ceceus that he will now put into action a counter-play that will be the end of all the silly ideas and shenanigans of Bard and troupe. But who is watching whom as we find out that Millhouse has been spying on Crusteus and Ceceus. Who will win out that night? ACT SEVEN. Later that night, the events unfold to their doom. As slutty and foul-mouthed female minions put Romeo through the ringer, he gets separated from Ceceus and gets lost in the Grange corridors. He finds Juliet apparently dead from the venom of the many snakes and he drinks the last dregs of his own cup and seemingly dies too. As Benedick comes to take Juliet away--for he finds out she is still alive and just hanging on to life--he is waylaid by one of Crusteus's men and stabbed to death. Beatrice trying to stop Juliet from drinking the dregs of Romeo's cup, scuffles with Juliet and in the process bangs her head in the wall and falls to the floor inert. Crusteus, leading Bard, family and troupe, comes by and his doctor declares all four lovers dead. Bard pleads for the lives of the rest of his family and troupe and insists that Crusteus take his life only. But Crusteus must quickly hide all bodies, evidence and witnesses and will kill the rest and bury all that night. Is this the end of our dear friend, Bard, and his troupe? ACTS 8-12: Are all really dead, for the "ghosts" of our four lovers appear and scare Crusteus and his minions away and cause Ceceus to repent and atone with his true love? And are our four 'ghosts' really married in the end or are they only spritually married to their True Love in heaven? Read and Find out?

EPILOGUE.

Old Bard repents of his weak faith in his life and how he failed to bruit out the poisons that were infecting his homeland; then his candles goes out and all becomes dark.

Then, holding candles, young Bard and Glover enter and bandy words about how explicit one should be in confessing their faith: should one be subtle or should one bruit it out loud. Glover states that Bard has a way with words and should be subtle in his coming life. Bard says that he agrees to an extent but is not so sure and that sometimes one must bruit out his faith from the highest rooftops. They both agree that one should always have a strong faith. As the sun starts to rise on a beautiful Sunday morning, they lament the absence of the Bells ringing from their local church that once was Catholic and hot in the faith. They walk into the distance and disappear.

Then a Blue Heavenly Light shines down to reveal the old Bard, now a sprite young man of 20. He is soon joined by Glover, also a sprite young man of the same youthful age. They have a joyous reunion and Bard rejoices when he sees that his candle is relit. As they walk into the distance they soon seem to be walking upwards. As they pause for a minute, Bard seems to hear Bells in the distance. Do they really hear Bells and where are they exactly going?

THE END? or THE BEGINNING?

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